bronco

I'm sorry I haven't posted more, but I've been dealing with a few too many problems to be able to talk about them. Among them:

• I have a tooth cavity, and I've managed to botch the dentist scheduling so bad he hung up thinking it was a prank. Let the health insurance people work it out, I'm too busy feeling like crap for not being able to schedule a simple dentist appointment.
• The person that rents the apartment is selling it at the end of the month. Goofus knew it might happen, but he figured she's been trying to sell it for six months already so it wasn't a pressing business.
• It turns out Visa Plus also works out from your credit card limit, which I've just blown.
  
• I'm getting tired of cooking every single meal and having it taste like crap, so mostly I eat whatever's around and feel weak and depressed.

Stuff here has been mostly regular: Mr. Scheme swore he got two German hot dames to come sleep over, but mysteriously that never happened. Smokestack has been looking for a job as a receptionist, saleswoman or serving girl (here in Barcelona, these things pay more than anything you could do with a degree). Goofus wants to spend a weekend in Granada with a guy that lives in a cave with a wolf. I wish I was kidding. Invisible Man was bailing out at the month's end to live with his own ilk anyway, so good luck to the fella.

I went to the beach. It was nice. There was a couple having sex in the water.

A Mystery Story

When I came home today, I went to use the bathroom, as I am wont to do. The bathroom's lights were out; However, there was a portable stereo on the sink, playing reggae at high volume. Nobody else was in sight.

I decided to use the other bathroom.

The Blogger's Guide to Barcelona

Some facts about Barcelona and Spain:

• Meats you can find in the market by order of frequency: Pig, sheep, chicken, dozens of bizarre animals, cow (at 0.0001%).
• There is absolutely no ramen to be found in regular markets. You can buy regular pasta for the same price, but it's four times the preparation time.
  
• Public TV has no qualms about broadcasting bare nipples, pubic hair or a minute-long clip of what amounts to softcore porn, provided it's after 10 PM.
• A 'drink' amounts to can size no matter where you get it, no refills. With this plus food costing a lot, no wonder everyone's so thin.
• Many girls have lip piercings. Actually I think this one depends on the region.
• Each city block has at least twenty shops divided between the following: Grocery stores (usually run by Chinese or Pakistani migrants), cafes, eateries and pharmacies. Repeat this for every block in the city. No wonder Europe hasn't produced many blockbuster movies, they're all selling food to each other.
• Most stores close between 2 PM and 4 PM and on weekends, because we've always done it that way.
• While walking I've seen two stamp (as in, stamp collecting) shops, one puzzle (of the picture-assembling kind specifically) shop, and no comic stores or RPG stores.
  

An Interlude

Scene: Zara's bedroom
Mr. Scheme: *SLAM SLAM* "Wake up Zara, let's go to a cafe!"
Zara: "murble murble ok"
(Zara showers, gets dressed)
Zara: "OK, so are we going"
Mr. Scheme: "Uh it's kinda cold I don't think we should go"
Zara: "Uh you woke me up for it and everything"
Mr. Scheme: "OK we'll be going then"
(Mr. Scheme plays acoustic guitar loudly for 30 minutes)
Zara: "Well?"
Mr. Scheme: "Oh, we need to make lunch, we shouldn't go. Go look for a chicken recipe. One with white sauce."
Zara: "..."

Also, thanks to Mr. Scheme, I've listened to more Brazilian music in the last three days than in the entire month before it. Fun times.

Meet The Crew

I suppose I might as well describe the other people that live in this apartment. They come from a wide variety of backgrounds and each has its own very unique personality. Here they are by order of seniority:

Goofus: My old friend. Goofus has been around the apartment for the most time and so has seniority, and his final vote is always to avoid anything in the way of rules or arrangements. Has a nearly allergic aversion to personal responsibility.

Quote: "Yeah, we were going to that pizza place but I'm too tired so I'm going to sleep. Gnight."

Smokestack: Girl from France. Probably raised in a cloister or similar, given her sheer love for yelling. Most of her free time is spent smoking anything she comes across and listening to loud music. A thorough study on how stimulants and depressants interact.

Quote: "Smokestack, did you put this bag of salad in the plastic recycling bag?" "Well, yes, it's plastic." "Yes, but it's still full of salad." "?!" "Nevermind."

Invisible Man: Guy from Italy. Mostly coops himself in his bedroom, leaving ocasionally to drink, smoke and listen to loud music in the living room with Smokestack. Mostly exists as a reason for Smokestack to be loud.

Quote: "Hey."

Mr. Scheme: Fellow Brazilian and the guy that wanted me to bring the PS3 (he still hasn't managed to make it work, as pretty much every cable that goes into or out of it doesn't work by European standards and Sony are dicks) Typical young enterprising type, has several plans as how to make money, 80% of which will just burn out the money of the other 20%. A rather nice guy, but suspiciously manipulative regarding monetary matters.

Quote: "Dude, you should totally sell this to companies! Have their name branded on it or something, it'll be awesome!"

Zara (AKA DJ Stressed): Me. Being the newest member, Gets the smallest room, which is roughly the size of a closet. Rethinking entirely too many life decisions at once.

Quote: *sets own laptop's Birdhouse In Your Soul volume to same level of Smokestack's Linkin Park volume* "SCREW YOU! I ONLY LISTEN TO DOUBLE MUSIC!"

This crew will have many special and wonderful adventures. Stay tuned to find out.

The Rain In Spain

So I decided to go visit a friend in Barcelona. Like a week after I did my masters dissertation. This meant running around like a headless chicken for days trying to get everything done to stay at Goofus' house. Goofus is my friend, whose most marking achievement was to throw up from a balcony in the 4th story of a building and have photographic evidence of it.

So the dialogue went kind of like this:

Me: OK I'm going to visit you like you said I could
Goofus: OK you have to pay $N per month
Me: What you don't rent the whole apartment
Goofus: No I rent like a room
Me: Oh... ok
Goofus (4 days later): Oh and $N more as a deposit
Me: ...
Goofus: Oh and I told a friend of mine you'd be bringing him a thing he left
Me: What thing
Goofus: An acoustic guitar and a Playstation 3
Me: ARGBARGGARG *sigh* ok fine
Goofus: OK if it's fine he's tying a -second- guitar to the first one
Me: ARGARGAGRAGRGAR

Do you have any idea how bloody heavy a PS3 is? No wonder it costs seven hundred dollars, it is entirely filled with liquid gold. I had to carry that thing up and down more stairs that I can recall and through more customs offices than I care to recall.

And, of course, these are European customs offices, staffed by ex-elementary school hall inspectors. One of them deftly caught my attempt to smuggle a half-empty 160ml deodorant bottle when the limit is 100ml. (I suspect that this is based on science.) This unfortunately defused the plan to overcome the pilot with minty fresh armpit smell, and I had to do the rest of the trip smelling like a pig sweat factory.

The supposedly dangerous aerosol can was carelessly tossed in a box in the corner. What happens when they catch an actual bottle of explosive?

However I braved all dangers and finally got to Barcelona, land of Gaudi, cheap leather articles, no parking and Gaudi. The airplane movie featured Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson as old people who get sick and then die. I will report things as they come to be reported, but for now, I really miss not having brought the dang cookbook with me.

Almost Back

I'll come back home in three days. Have to do a few last things here before I get home. Good luck to us all.

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Logo volto para casa. Tentando terminar tudo que preciso.